A long overdue catch-up: What I've been up to, nursing placements, Bank HCA job and almost finished first year.

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I must say I have been extremely busy (usual excuse) and have a lot of catching up to do in the blogging world. So over the last 3 months (oops!) I finished my second placement and had 2 spokes, which are kind of like tasters in different areas of nursing. I've also had an essay, a Workshop and 2 exams, as well as copious amounts of placement documentation and research. I then started a Bank HCA job and of course trying to fit my life around all of this has been a challenge in itself. I'll fill you in on placements and my new job in this post and then I'll write a separate one about the assessments I've had as this post is already going to be rather lengthy!

Hub 2 - Medical Ward

Let's start with my second main (Hub) placement. I go back there again on Monday and am so nervous. The last time I was there was 27th September :O Getting back into the routine is going to be fun, but I just can't wait to get onto a ward and nurse again. Anyway, on that placement I was given more responsibility and began to administer medication (supervised of course). I also provided fundamental care in a much more confident way,  assisted with more medical procedures, took swabs, removed what felt like 100 venflons, carried out vital obs, completed admissions, helped with discharges, attended ultrasounds, CT scans and Xrays with patients, referred patients to other professionals (physio, occ health, dietician, etc.) and arranged patient transport. I've almost certainly missed out the other 1000 things I did. I swear, I'd get home after a shift and just stare blankly at a wall for an hour from exhaustion. Placement is blumin hard work both physically and mentally.  

Spoke 1 - Mental Health

My first 2 week spoke placement was in a rehabilitation home for people with mental health problems. I must say I was nervous about going as I just didn't know what to expect. I went for a visit prior to the commencement of the placement so that I could get my shifts and find out a little bit about the place but they didn't really tell me much and seemed a bit irritated by yet another student, bearing in mind I was their 4th of 5 students in an 8 week period. They were probably very fed up. During the first week I was a little reserved as I didn't know how to make myself useful. There seemed to be a lot of tea drinking and sitting around which when you're used to a hospital ward can be a bit of a shock to the system. I was constantly asking if I could help or do something and it took me a little while to realise that the main point was therapeutic presence. A lot of the residents simply loved having someone there to sit with and have a little chat, and by the second week I loved it too. I learnt how to knit and crochet and now have a bit of a penchant for it if I'm honest. I am clearly a granny at heart :D I thoroughly enjoyed supporting people with the things they loved doing such as nipping to the shops, cooking tea, going to exercise classes, baking, going to social events and for little walks. The whole experience totally opened my eyes to the reality that 99% of nursing is about just being with someone and helping them to be them again. I don't think that MH nursing is for me but I really did learn a lot from it and hope to learn more in the future. Some of the nurses and healthcare staff who worked here were the best I've seen. I hope to be like them when I qualify.

Spoke 2 - Health Visiting/School Nursing/Sexual Health

My second 2 week spoke placement was spent with health visitors and school nurses and I absolutely loved it. After the short time I spent there I think I might actually want to specialise in school nursing in the future. It felt so natural for me. My mentor was fantastic and gave me every opportunity possible. I spent an afternoon with the sexual health nurse in her clinic and seen some very interesting things. I also spent a day with the sexual health team in a high school to educate teenagers on the risks of STDs and hand out testing kits, as well as little treats for having taken a test (something that they never had when I was young!). They got free cinema tickets, headphones or undercrackers. I then spent a couple of mornings in schools observing inoculations which were really interesting. It was a very strange feeling to be back in a school environment and I felt very uncomfortable at first but it was nice to be seen in a different way, not as a student teacher but as a student nurse. I held the hands of those who were afraid, handed tissues to those who had meltdowns and distracted them from the injections. It was a really interesting experience even though it was a simple as giving injections. In my final week I attended a child safety meeting with a whole host of other professionals, from nursery nurses to social workers. It was a pretty stressful environment and really opens your eyes to the vast role of the nurse...and the importance of quality, accurate paperwork. Aside from all of these things I went along to lots of home visits with the health visitor which made me ridiculously broody. All of the cute little babbas and nervous/excited parents made it such a lovely experience. I loved being in the community and dealing with people in different settings. People are so different when they're not wearing hospital gowns! Unfortunately I ended up missing 2 days of the placement due to spending some time in hospital but did everything I could to get back given that it was a 1 time only placement that couldn't be made up. That's another story though and I'm fine now :) My report for this placement was glowing and my mentor said that I'd make an exceptional nurse. Yeah! :)

HCA Bank Job

As I said in a previous post I gained a job at a private hospital as a Bank HCA and had my first shift yesterday. It took them so long to organise a shift that I honestly thought it would never happen! But regardless I went and it was OK. It was a very quiet shift, not much going on. I've got another one tomorrow morning and I've been told it's usually manic so I'm looking forward to that. I also have an interview for an NHS Bank HCA post on Monday as I thought it would be really beneficial to gain more experience in an NHS based hospital too. I hope I get it!

Final placement - Hub 3 - Medical Ward

So like I said above I return to placement on Monday morning and couldn't be more excited about all of things I'm going to get to see and do. I've really missed it. The Ward Manager runs her own cardiac clinic and has asked me to spend the day with her when I go back which I am ridiculously excited about. She knows everything there is to know about the heart and it's a particular area of interest for me due to my sister's very unusual condition so I'll be taking a tonne from it I'm sure :) My mentor also said that she's going to increase my level of responsibility when I return (after I've settled back in of course) so that I'll be looking after a whole section of my own patients, eep! I'm so excited for this but unbelievably nervous also. This is going to be my final placement as a first year student nurse. Next year I'll be a second year nurse and feel so unprepared for that title.

How did you other student nurses find the transition from year 1 to year 2? 

Trying to have a life outside of Nursing

This is a tad random but a rant I feel might maintain the little sanity I have left. 

This course is incredibly intense. It takes over your life, changes your outlook on life itself and those around you both close and far. It uses all of your time, preventing you from bringing in money thus cancelling out most of your social life. Doing this later in life when others have their careers already and are beginning to settle down means your schedules become very difficult to match up especially when life's little complications rear their ugly heads.

People always said before I started this course that no one other than fellow/previous healthcare students would understand what it feels like and I always laughed and thought...really?! The truth is, well, that. It is difficult for other people to understand that you don't have spare time or money to go for dinner, drinks or lovely social activity like you used to. That and the fact that I was stupid enough to enter into yet more studying when I STILL have debt to pay off, which in itself is a balancing act. It's a pretty stressful ride. There are also the people who snort when you say you're a student, thinking that you get more days off than you do on...wrong. I work full time hours (37.5hrs a week) on a heavy ward, do everything I can to do well and please my mentor, stay alert for every learning opportunity, travel miiiiiiles every day, go home and do uni work or research for placement, do all of my house work, try to have a life and also find time for sleep. It's blumin difficult, and I don't have kids like many of my fellow students. I seriously don't understand how they do it. People - nursing students work very hard!

Spending time with friends and family is very important to me and although it is  something I'd never be willing to give up, trying to find a balance seems impossible! If anyone has any tips I'd be grateful...

Nursing assignments/essays

So about a month ago (actually about 4 months ago...oops!) I handed in my first assignment, a 1000 word formative essay about lifelong learning and the skills and attributes needed to be effective. I got it back a couple of weeks ago and was pleased with my result - a healthy 63%. In 2 weeks we have to hand in the same essay but this time it's 2000 words and summative which means it counts towards our final mark for year 1. I'm hoping to at least retain the same grade or of course improve (if possible!) but can't seem to find the motivation to get going again. I feel that although the formative essay feedback was useful, finding another 1000 words for it seems impossible!

So now I'm technically on a 'self-directed study week', which so far has comprised of spending time with family and drinking obscene quantities of tea. I must be more productive with the rest of my time off...I mean my study week, ha!

UPDATE:

I handed in said summative essay (in July) and managed to get 70% which is a 1st. Weyhey! I now have another essay due at the beginning of November that I have not yet started...old habits and all that. Why is it that you consistently tell yourself that you aren't going to stress yourself out and do everything at the last minute again and yet it always happens?! One day Carlene, one day...

Quick Update

Hi guys,

It's been an awfully long time since I updated this blog and to be honest I have no excuse as I've been off uni and placement for several weeks now. I've just enjoyed the breathing space and time with family and friends.

Quick update about the kitten we got a couple of months ago. Millie was a little poorly a few weeks ago so we took her to the vet. The vet thoroughly examined her and there was nothing major wrong. However what we thought was a lovely little girl kitten is actually a little boy, haha! So we have amended HIS name to Milo, slightly more appropriate than Millie don't you think? :)

Other life/uni updates:

I received my first graded assignment back recently and managed to scoop a 1st which I was obviously over the moon with.

I also applied for a Bank HCA role and have an interview soon. Excited!

I go back to placement on 2nd September for 4 weeks in my second Hub placement. Then straight after this I go to my spoke placements - 2 weeks in a mental health placement and 2 weeks on a health visiting placement which I'm massively excited about.

I've been collating and writing up as much evidence as possible for my practice assessment document (PAD - what a name!) and preparing for going back to placement.

I've been a bit unhappy with the format and layout of my blog so am going to redesign it soon with the help of my arty BF. Look at his latest painting - it's fabulous :)

Other than that I will write a post about my first placement as soon as possible but I am preparing to go on holiday - a lovely little boating holiday with my immediate family and boyfriend to the Norfolk Broads which I'm very excited about. It will be my Mam's first holiday since 2001 so I think it's well overdue.

Anyhoo, I'll post soon. Hope everyone in Nursing world is well and of course any other curious folk who read my rambles :)

A lot going on...a quick update about life, OSCE, essay and placement

Well the last month has been rather crazy to say the least. I started to feel really poorly a few weeks ago - migraine, nausea, fever, exhaustion/insomnia...awful! After 4 days I went to visit the local walk-in centre who did a full set of obs and decided to send me off to A&E to get some blood tests as they didn't have the facilities and he was worried about my persistent fever and migraine. I waited for several hours at A&E (as is obvious!) to be told that I should take time out of university to recover and to stay away from work/uni/as many people as possible as they suspected I had Glandular Fever. ARGH! I waited (impatiently!) for my blood test results which thankfully came back negative for GF - turns out I just had an awful viral infection which took over 2 weeks to clear up.

Any way the reason I'm mentioning all of this is that it's caused me no end of hell due to the recent workload I've had but has taught me an awful lot about how things can build up and fall on you. I had an OSCE exam, an essay and placement prep to complete, all of which had to be put on hold whilst I recovered and waited for test results. I missed my OSCE and had to get an extension to finish my essay (boohoo!). I think the OSCE will now be in September so at least I have plenty of time to practice these skills prior to it and a 2 week extension for my essay. Of course that's helpful but I start placement tomorrow and now have to write this at the same time...oh dear. Best to get used to it now I suppose - lots of multitasking practice.

So on a MASSIVELY exciting note, I START PLACEMENT TOMORROW! TOMORROW!! I am ever so slightly excited right now and am writing as a way to get some of my excitement out so that I may get some sleep tonight and be fresh for tomorrow. I have a lovely 50 mile journey and won't be home until after 10pm so I'm straight in at the deep end. What an introduction to being a nurse?! Ha! Today we had our Trust induction where we covered mandatory training and received information about what we can expect and what is expected of us. We also received our Trust IDs. I took my (posed) preprepared photo with me (post photoshop) only to find out that they were taking our photographs anyway and our other photos were to be shoved in a file :(  So my ID photo is terrible and I look constipated and awkward, hahaha! Never mind, I'm hoping I can get a new picture taken if I decide to change my hair colour or something.

Any way, my uniform is ironed and packed, my paperwork is packed, as is my lunch, my fob, badges and my notebook and black pen, now I just have to get to bed. On that note - good night. I'll report back soon, if I have time to breathe of course :)

A Difficult Part of the Job

Yesterday at work, a gentleman returned to the home after a long stint in hospital with suspected pneumonia. The doctors had sent him home to receive palliative care, which basically means making him as comfortable as possible towards the end of his life. He isn't yet on the Care Pathway but the nurse says that it is quite likely that he will be in the next week or so unless he improves.

This man, let's say Gregory (not his real name), has had a very full life and turned 83 on 12th December, the day he returned to his home. He has a large family and wide circle of friends who have rarely left his bedside. Although these are lovely things it doesn't prevent me from feeling sad that his life may be coming to an end. This is where the job gets very difficult indeed, but it gives you an opportunity to do the very best you can for someone in a very vulnerable position. I think the only thing you can do in this situation is to think about the comfort and care you are providing and the wonderful, full life they have had.

I do hope that there is some sort of birthday/Christmas miracle for him and he pulls through and proves the nurse wrong. Come on Gregory!

A rant about the treatment of HCAs in Residential Homes

I'm sure you knew there had to be a rant at some point!

Well, I was just thinking about the shift I'm doing on Monday and got my self a bit wound up. Over the years that I've worked in care settings I've come across more brilliant HCAs than I have poor. My rant is not about how HCAs treat patients, it's about how HCAs are treated by management and the companies that they work for, often private.

I have worked in several homes and honestly, every single home is full of people who want to do the best that they can for every resident there, and they do (most of them!). They literally do not stop for 12 hours, even with the things that people would consider smaller details, like making sure that Mr. Smith's tea is at the right temperature, Mrs. Cole's bed is made to her liking, ensuring that fashionable Ms. Layton's skirt and top match and supporting and reassuring Mr. Bartlett's family. They put every ounce of energy they have into making patients' lives as happy and comfortable as possible and yet they are paid an absolute pittance! I work for a care agency and hate the fact that I get paid more than them - at least 30p an hour more in most places. This is disgusting and it amazes me how people can live on such a small wage, especially given the amount of work they complete in 1 shift. Many of the people I have worked with complete 60 hour plus weeks with no thanks. Is it any wonder that morale is through the floor?! I think it's time that people took a step back and took notice of the work that these admirable people do.

Massive respect to those out there who put their heart and soul into their work every day.

Preparation is Everything!

Since I've got such a long wait before I start the course in March, I figured I'd use the time wisely. I've been doing a few things to help me understand the things that I'm going to face over the next 3 years:

Vlogs/blogs: I LOVE reading blogs or watching vlogs about other nursing students' experiences, which is partially why I made this blog really. It's so interesting knowing how other people prepared, learning what I may come up against, what I might see on placement, things I have to learn, how people come through struggles and hearing success stories. I hope that somebody else out there will get some enjoyment out of reading my silly banter also :) I usually get quite distracted though, especially by makeup tutorials. My latest find is a girl who is also a student nurse who happens to record makeup tutorials - doubly brilliant! I can see it being an issue when I have actual work to do though.

Books: Anatomy and physiology books, advice books, clinical texts, etc. I'm going to write another post about the specific books I've been reading which may help.

Talking to current students/health professionals: I think this is the one that I'm finding the most helpful, after all they've already experienced all of the things I'm researching first hand.

Work: I'm working in care homes at the moment, specifically EMI residential homes. EMI stands for Elderly Mentally Infirm - I hate that name but don't know what else to call it :0/. Every time I go to work I have a million more questions to ask the in-house nurse, who must be very fed up of me by now! I feel very lucky that I'm going into this course with quite a lot of experience in health care under my belt. So many people have to start from scratch and honestly the first time you carry out personal care or feed a very ill person can be quite upsetting and feel strange. I'm glad I was able to do these things in my own time without the worry of being assessed.

Life preparation: I'm thinking a lot about how my life is going to be once I get in to the course. The PGCE completely took over my life and I was so unhappy, so this time I want to make sure that I make time for myself and my family/friends. I have to figure out how I'm going to afford to live. Luckily my boyfriend is amazing and he has said that he'll support me financially. He's a bit of a gem :) I'd like to keep up my agency work but it's very rare that they offer shorter shifts, they're usually 12 hours which I think would be impossible to fit in. I've heard that a lot of students take on some bank work after a round 6 months into their 1st year so that might be an option.

Lists: I am one of those sad creatures who enjoys writing lists - it's literally how I live. Everything goes on my list or in my diary...to then be added to my list, ha! So I've been writing lists of things that I need to research or purchase. Very exciting! I'm not really sure if I need the really nursey things like a stethoscope and a sphygmomanometer (copy and pasted as it's a ridiculous word!). I want them, but do I need them? Perhaps to practice manual BPs - look at me sounding like I know what I'm talking about - I don't by the way ;)

And finally, looking at course content, modules and timetables: All very important things so that I know what the hell I'm going to be doing for the next year. The timetable was an eye opener mind. It's going to be very interesting starting the term in March too.

That's about it for now. Until next time, TTFN!

We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us...

Many people come to nursing later in life so I thought it might be helpful to explain where I came from and why I made my decision to pursue adult nursing.

I started out, at a very young age helping to care for my family. I'm the youngest of 5 siblings; 4 girls and 1 boy (bless him!). My Mam is an absolute inspiration and has devoted her life to bringing up her (very complicated!) children and caring full time for one of my sisters. She was born perfectly normal but at the age of 1 she had the Measles vaccine, which caused severe brain damage - the technical name is vaccine encephalopathy. This meant that a very normal little girl, who spent the small amount of time she had on her feet being mischievous, was no longer able to function in the way that she had. Her behaviours changed and she lost the abilities that she had developed in her first year. She never developed the ability to walk, talk and feed herself and became entirely dependent on our family to complete daily tasks. I was born several years later and as soon as I was old enough, I threw myself in to caring for my sister - aiding her with all of the things she needed. Of course she never lost her mischievous side and took every opportunity to knock my dinner from my lap, trip me up, laugh at me when I fell/bumped into things/generally injured myself, and all other sorts of naughty behaviour - evil little sense of humour she has! :) Now she is 32 years old, still being cared for by my Mam and my family and still causing mischief. Of course caring for your family is very different to caring in the public/private sector. But nonetheless, this is where the first urge to work in care came to me. Later on something big was to change my direction in life...

When I was 11 my eldest sister suffered a major stroke, aged 22. This experience shook me to my core. I looked on, too young to do anything substantial, as another blow struck my family. As I explained earlier, my Mam literally is a hero and refuses to let anything get her down. She powered through. I did my best to follow in her footsteps, although honestly at such a young age I hardly knew what was going on. My sister lost her motor skills and had to relearn everything, which, with the help of health professionals, rehabilitation teams and family she did (and is now a high calibre graduate to boot!). It was at this point that I discovered a path that I would pursue in the future - teaching. I helped my sister regain her abilities to read, write and talk and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Following this I took on every teaching or mentoring role I could throughout school. My friends would pile their work onto my desk so that I could proof read it for them and give them pointers to improve it. I loved being helpful in this way. I had also trained in Aikido for many years, achieved black belt and began teaching classes. Everyone told me how good I was and encouraged me to pursue a career in teaching.

To cut a long story short I was accepted onto a teaching degree but did not achieve the A Level results to continue with it. It was around this time that another challenge was sent towards my family. My Mam was diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis). Admittedly, I lost my way a little, confused as to how all of the other people at school and sixth form 'seemed' to glide through life with a normal family experience. Why was my road always so bumpy? I couldn't focus on anything and went through a stage of going out a lot, drinking, as some form of escapism. When I finally let reality back in, I took a good look at what I had. I'm pretty sure you've gathered by now that I think rather highly of my Mam (as most people do, obviously!), but she has more fight in her than anyone I have ever known. She was what I had, my siblings were what I had. I had to do something, if not for me, for them, after all, my Mam had sacrificed so much for me, I had to give her something back. I made the decision to complete a degree in English Literature and Education with the idea of completing a Primary PGCE afterwards, and so, I plugged away and worked hard to achieve a 2:1. I don't think I'll ever forget how proud my Mam was at my graduation. Shortly after, I applied for the Primary PGCE but did not gain a place. I was devastated but took it as an opportunity to gain some work experience. After trying to gain a position in a school environment and failing, I noticed a job in a care setting, specifically supporting the needs of disabled adults - an area where I was very comfortable given my experience. After about a month I became very good at this job. I loved the ladies I worked with and had developed such a great bond with them, however after around a year the council started to make massive staff and budget cuts. It was at this point that I realised I had to look for something more stable.

I decided to reapply for the PGCE and after a short wait, discovered that I had a place. With great sadness, I handed in my notice and said goodbye to the people I had grown so close to, preparing myself for a very challenging year ahead. As soon as I began the course I felt a bit lost but I kept on going, gripping onto the passion that I'd had for years. My first school placement rolled around - it wasn't great, but I loved working with children. My second placement was better, working with older children with SEN, an area of comfort. I loved helping them 1-1 and interacting with them. Third placement: this was the moment when I realised how much of an error I had made. As I said, I love working with children but I certainly did not enjoy shouting at, or telling them off, planning until 4am, getting back up 6am and generally teaching children in such a strict and constrained environment. I have never been a particularly authoritative person and really struggled with these aspects. I sat down and asked myself if I wanted to continue to put myself through it, and each time I told myself no. Could I see myself teaching in 40+ years? I couldn't even see myself teaching for the following 40 days! People always came back to me and told me to continue with it, my Mam included - "There's not long left!", "You can do it!", "Just keep going!", were the resounding cheers that everybody directed towards me. I pushed myself, wanting to make my Mam proud, defying my gut feeling, extended my study, tried my hardest to fit back into a school setting, refusing to give in, to complete the final 8 weeks of my PGCE...but my heart was not in it. My heart no longer belonged there. I don't think it ever did. It wasn't fair to keep doing this, for myself, for the profession and for the kids. My Mam agreed that it was wrong to do something that I didn't want to do, and supported me in the decision that I had to make. I decided there and then that I'd had enough of lying to myself so I quit. This was the biggest and best decision of my life. You can truly only see the light when you have taken steps down a path. If you simply look at a path without taking a step, you get a restricted view and cannot feel the ground beneath your feet. It is when you take steps on the road that you discover the truth. As cliché as it sounds, that's the way it was and is.

I had been working for a care agency for the last 2 years, prior to and during the PGCE. It was partially this experience that cemented the fact that I no longer wanted to be a teacher and admitted to myself what I really wanted to do - nurse. The memories that stick in my mind are coming home from teaching placements and being an emotional wreck vs. coming home from a care setting feeling fulfilled and happy. I spoke with several professional tutors, current nurses, my family, friends, my partner, researched courses and the realities of the profession, had a holiday to think about things and came out the other end with a plan firmly in my head and in my heart. I had to apply to undertake nursing training! It came to me that, after everything, the happiest I have ever been has been in a care setting, whether it be personal or professional. So I applied for an adult nursing degree at a prestigious University, something I should have done a long time ago. After around 2 weeks I heard back from the Uni - they wanted to interview me! I attended the interview, which went very well and heard back after 10 days that I had a place, and here I am!

I hope I haven't bored you with my long winded tale, but I just wanted to let people out there know that sometimes people come around to things after a long time, after pursuing several other things. That doesn't mean that you want it any less than the next person, nor does it mean that you won't get it. I've had a rather complicated personal/professional/educational life so far and finally feel that I am on the right path for me. I can always take forward the skills I learnt from teaching and will definitely use them for mentoring, teaching small groups or in martial arts teaching again, but I most certainly won't be going back into a traditional classroom again.

I urge anyone who is unhappy with their current path in life to take account of what you have and what you want. Don't lie to yourself. If you think you want to pursue something else, look into it, ask questions, research until you are blue in the face, make sure you are sure! You never know...it might be the best thing you ever do. I know it was for me.