My First Patient

We had a task in one of the Care, Compassion and Communication sessions at university where we had to write a poem about an aspect of our placement experience so far. I've had a bit of a shaky year so far so I think this task hit me a little bit. I was fine writing the poem, I quite enjoyed it actually and found I slept better that night than I had in a while. Maybe I needed to get some things off my chest. When we attended the session people volunteered to read their poems to the class and I was one of those, feeling quite proud of what I'd produced and all. So I started reading it, and then felt the tears coming. I felt such a fool. My whole class seeing me so vulnerable and fall apart - I was so embarrassed. I managed to finish the poem and everyone was absolutely lovely (of course) but I hated the fact that they'd seen that side of me. Hated the fact that they were probably all thinking, "Look how soft she is", "She'll never survive nursing", "She's not resilient". But how wrong I was. My class is just amazing, every one of them clearly felt it too and I knew I wasn't alone. Nursing and working with vulnerable people has a profound effect on you. It's hard not to feel it and I think in that moment I realised that it's not about maintaining a hard shell all of the time. You can't wear armour all of the time. That release was exactly what I needed and I am so grateful now that I had it. I've found it pretty difficult to reflect on things in the structured manner that the university advise but I think I've found a method that really helps me - poetry. (I never thought I'd be saying those words!) 

Anyway, here is my poem about the very first patient I looked after on my very first placement - someone I will never forget.

My First Patient

Your first day on the ward, a strange place to be,

your proud smile says, "You don't need to look after me!".

You chat to all your neighbours in your bay,

Offering them a hand, you brighten up their day.

Your wife brings you flowers all the way from your farm,

a little piece of home for you to look back on.

Your home is your work place, your passion so true,

you talk with such fondness, with stories of the view.

I wish that you could see it now and be there just once more,

I'm sorry that you're confined here behind the hospital doors.

Your family, they pray for you and hope you'll be home soon,

they're missing you an awful lot, they're here most afternoons.

Days go by and your strength wanes,

it's difficult to fight through that much pain.

You accept our help, our comfort and support,

we provide care and compassion, with your needs in our thoughts.

I don't show you that I'm sad to see you get so weak,

I still sit by your bedside where we always speak.

The words we share become less and less,

I can see you fading, I must confess.

Your heart beats its last and your chest fails to rise,

you fade away so peacefully as you close your eyes.

You've gone to a better place now, a place without the pain,

with your family and loved ones, your spirit will remain.

I've known you such a short time, but have learnt a lot,

you are such an inspiration and will never be forgot.

And although it's sad that you're no longer here,   

I look back in happiness and not in fear.

More Nursing Practicals

Over the last few weeks we've had more interesting practical sessions where we covered bed making, personal care (helping to clean a patient), vital observations, injection technique and poo/urinalysis (yum!). All very 'nursey' things to learn and finally a little time out of the lecture theatres.

I swear bed making sounds easy. Our tutor is an ex-army nurse and takes hospital corners faaaar too seriously! I still have "make a triangle, fold it under and tuck" stuck in my head, which may be a good thing I suppose... I also didn't know that there were different names for the sheet 'layers'; he called them some weird name that I really can't remember cos it seems truly irrelevant really.

Personal care was a really interesting session although the tutor didn't spare any details (good thing I'm sure!). I have delivered (how detached does that sound?!) personal care in the past so have experience already although I have never done this in a hospital environment which I can imagine is slightly different given how busy it will be and the possibility of it being on a bay rather than a private room. I like that the way he described the entire process was focused on maintaining the dignity of the patient and ensuring that they retain as much independence as possible. One thing that was highlighted quite frequently was curtains are not sound proof which I'm told many healthcare professionals forget. Another thing that struck me is how operational it all seemed. All cleaning equipment is disposable to prevent cross infection. The whole help a patient to wash and change a sheet beneath them...I'm not sure how comfortable I would be in this situation... :0/

The vital observation sessions have been challenging. We've been    learning how to take manual blood pressure, temperature, capillary refill, oxygen saturation, pulse and respiratory rate and are soon to have an OSCE based around these skills (as well as communication of course!). My friends and I have been practising so we're hoping we'll cruise through it and I've been using my close ones as patients too :) I'm still absolutely terrified for this exam mind :O

Urinalysis and poo analysis were yummy as you can imagine. Again it was quite a basic session (more of an introduction to it) as I seriously couldn't just go into practice now and confidently say , "Yes, that's a 3 on the Bristol Stool Chart and that person's urine means they have XX wrong with them because they have XX in their wee!". Clearly practice makes perfect with these things. It seems pretty icky to wish for more experience with these things but I am...all part of being a nurse :)

Injection technique was an OK session...not exactly as I hoped but we learnt the basics, which I suppose is all we can hope for at this early stage. We were each given an 'arctic roll' (a rubber one, not an ice cream one) and practiced both subcutaneous (injection in fatty tissue) and intramuscular techniques (muscular tissue - deeper and more painful). I visited my first placement and my mentor told me that I will be administering subcut injections - terrifying prospect but really exciting too!

So that's a really brief overview of what we've been doing. I start placement in less than 2 weeks so will be able to (hopefully!) practice most of these things in real life.

I'll keep you posted :)